Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Obsessed? It is debateable...

Ken-chan and I spent approximately 11 hours yesterday watching HEROES episodes in order to make it to the season premiere. We took a break only to eat dinner.

It is IMPERATIVE that I be productive today to make up for the mind-enema that occurred all day yesterday. I thought I had hobbies-- but I never knew that obsessive DVD-watching was one of them.

Also, KIND OF brain-dead today. Colors and shapes have proven more distracting that ever!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Testify to LA CRAZY

Everybody has "LA CRAZY" friend; that one particular person among friendships that collects so much drama and bullshit in their personal life, you'd think that they were trying to win a contest for it or something. You'll see these sorts of friends on TV (see also: Jerry Springer guests) but not often in real life-- usually as bad customers or terrible drivers-- but never as a close confidant.

I can't even begin to describe my friend Jo. BUT I CAN MAKE A LIST!

1. When we first met in 7th grade, she was the only girl I knew who smoked Parliments and cloves.

2. Later than summer, after knowing her for about seven months and talking to her on the phone infrequently every other day, she shows up on my doorstep asking me if I could lend her $15 to help her buy a pager.

3. In high school she dated a 23 year old guy whose fixed-up car she impulsively drove off with after an argument. She had no license, no permit. I got a call from her around 3 a.m. from a phone booth in Rowland Heights-- she apparently returned his car with three flat tires. They broke up that night. She couldn't get over the fact that he broke up with her, "over something that stupid."

4. She joined K.I.D.S. (retarded AZN clique-- 'nuff said)

5. After getting kicked out of her mom's house when we were in college, I offered up my place for her to live in temporarily. After about six months (these were actually fun times together) she begins flirting with my older brother who was 8 yrs our senior.

6. She dates my brother, then cheats on him about a year later.

7. The guy she cheats with ends up being physically abusive. He is already the father of two children from different girlfriends.

8. She broke up with said guy after three years of dating/living together. She picks up a (REALLY) bad coke and alcohol addiction. I don't hear from her for about a year.

9. One day I get a call from her HUSBAND; a guy she met on Myspace when she moved up to Santa Barbara. He calls me because she was being hospitalized for a SECOND suicide attempt and was calling out for me to be with her. She goes missing three days later.

10. After searching for her for about a week, I discover that she's in rehab in Wisconsin. She does a "tour" of about three more facilities until she finally moves back home with her mom. We hang out again.

So yeah, time has passed, wounds have (hopefully) healed, and we are still amazingly good friends. I can't remember how many times I've had to pick her up from far away places, console her when she's uncontrollably crying, or be the "middle man" that has to somehow find a way to negotiate with her cholo boyfriend. She is now 5 months pregnant, but she is at peace with her addiction and is genuinely happy with her relationship.*

So where does this all lead to? Turns out that her previous marriage needs to be annulled on the grounds that she was, "not of sound mind and body" before/upon union AND THAT I NEED TO TESTIFY TO THESE FACTS IN COURT.

That's right! This means that out of our 12+ years of being friends, I finally get to talk openly about how insane she is; supported with anecdotes, facts-- hell, even some trivia(!) We are meeting tomorrow night to organize my testimony that is scheduled on Tuesday.

It's times like these where life is also, "LA HILARIOUSLY IRONIC."

* Her current relationship is still with the crazy cholo who used to physically abuse her-- up until a car accident that involved the both of them. It was not a collision, it was more along the lines of my friend going batshit crazy and punching her boyfriends head till he began bleeding all over the place. This all occurred while they were driving on the freeway. And yes, I had to pick her up from this incident as well.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Home-Office Politics

Even though I now work mostly from home, I am still exposed to insipid-poo-for-brain-co-worker-stupidity via emails, teleconferencing, and on-line task management systems. One would think that with all this non-physical communication, it would be easier for me to handle all the blatant retardation-- but in the end it turns out to be 2471207102873 times more frustrating because I can't 'non-physically sock' my co-worker in the vag. I have so much passive-aggression towards them at this point, it's almost funny/sad.

user485: i didn’t want to hold the mouse for them, but i think our difficulty lies in the fact that they really are more technical people (as in programming is their expertise, etc.), rather than designers. or as what was expressed to naresh, perhaps they just do not see the design details the way we do... i am just wondering why they are still missing out the details. this has been pointed out in previous communication with them. and i am not sure if this is already a function of quality checking.

my_response: REALLY?! THEY ARE "TECHNICAL PEOPLE?" NO SHIT, ASSHAT. THEY ARE BACK-END PHP CODERS. OF COURSE THEY DON'T COMPREHEND WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOURE TRYING TO SAY BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS GIVE THEM 7-10 WRITTEN PARAGRAPHS OF NONSENSE WITHOUT A SINGLE VISUAL REFERENCE. GIVE THEM A FUCKING SCREEN SHOT OF WHAT IT IS YOU WANT DONE, NOT SOME LENGTHY ESSAY ABOUT HOW "On the bottom bar, on the “ALL RIGHTS RESERVED”, pls remove the space between “&” and ”.”; and then add 2 spaces between ”.” and “A”." WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?! WHICH BOTTOM BAR?! HOW LONG DID YOUR FATHER HAVE TO PISS IN YOUR MOTHER TILL YOU WERE CONCEIVED?!!!!! They are simply programmers, so you have to supplement your revisions with pictures in order for them to understand what it is you're trying to communicate as a designer.


Note that everything in green is what I deleted right before I responded to their IM. About 40 to 50% of our on-line conversations end up this way on my end because I am unable to reach into my monitor and slap them across the face.

I have problems.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Dear Mr. Ass-of-a-website; Please kiss mine.

I just finished over 35+ hours of sitting in front of this machine working with people in India on a website about airplane maintenance. Whenever I get stressed working on projects, managing people/info and the like, my brain tends to shut down in terms of 'relaxation.' I spent most of my free time last night (see also: sleeping) fervently playing Katamari Damacy on PSP while awaiting a response from the people overseas. At one point one of the guys named Naresh jokingly Im'ed me with, "You sleep do you not?"

I replied that I black out from time to time (but really, I just find myself playing hand-held vidogames.)

Last night was Brian's (aka The only 6ft/Ripped Filipino In Existence) birthday. I met up with the group at Jumbo's Clown Room in LA. A place that seems to theme itself snugly in-between dive bar/cabaret for scene kids. I watched a girl strip down to her underwear and pole dance (or was it interpretive dance?) to Bjork. Who thinks of these things and gets away with them? I usually get disappointed when I see women dancing for dollar bills, but this one girl was going BATSHIT on that pole to music I usually drive to. (Though I would prefer a small tip hat or jar in front of her performance as opposed to having her crawl around on stage collecting bills; she seemed like more of a Cirque de Solei acrobat than an actual caberet dancer. Perhaps if they were just covered in body spandex? Why is that always my solution to things?!)

It was nice seeing everyone in a group that I only seem to hang out with when there's a birthday. The other day, I drove my mom to a funeral where I met up with another group of old friends that I only seem to hang out with when there's a funeral. Weird.

I need more of 'every day/nothing special/nobody died' friends.