Sunday, July 30, 2006

application for admission, SOS

i sent in my application for Otis School of Art & Design. I hope to get a response from them soon regarding my admission-- or most likely, rejection. at least i tried.

bianca is currently in korea right now. i recieved a drunk dial from her this morning; listening to her slurred voice talk about popcorn and random korean foods made it feel as if she wasn't that far away. i haven't been good saving money in order to get a plane ticket to see her this winter, as i have been splurging again on random, useless things: like clothes, marc jacobs knock-offs, large rings, and an assortment of smocked polka dot summer dresses that i could've easily just made myself. but didn't. because i like to spend like it's going out of style.

today was random/uneventful. made salmon cakes for breakfast, helped around the house longer than usual. went to davids, then journeyed to ikea to look for a wedding gift. went home, cleaned my room (partially-- it's always partially.) diana came over with pizza. shin followed with makeup to try on diana. we got tea, chatted. end of night. i was supposed to hang out with either kirin or alex, but plans were nixed on account of lagging in time.

the only reason i really want to attend otis is so i can be roomates with kirin and live out in LA. how i'll pay for my apartment-- who knows? sell smack? i have to condition myself to let go of this guilt of having to take care of every eldery person within ten feet of me and just pursue what i want. and what i've wanted for so long is to just get the eff out of dodge. i've been doing this routine for far too long.

so, hopefully by next entry, things will be even more different. i'll be in another place, and not entierly dissatissfied with myself.