no more pot-walks

Had to leave class because I couldn't handle all the motion and whatnot. Sat with my eyes closed in the car for a bit, then built the audacity to drive around and get food. Sat in Walnut Creek park on a shady bench eating a falfel wrap and about three plums. Then for some other unkown reason, drove down to another park in Walnut and wandered for a bit. Two women eating lunch also probably assumed I was whack-- I mean here I am, with sunglasses on, stumbling around with a broken plastic bag of plums.

...

He was trying to explain to me this logic game on line dealing with moving objects from one spot to the other, and upon playing the game, I asked him what was it about.
"I just explained it to you," he said.

it was only then that I realized, I had been too focused on his eyes and his voice to even remember what he was trying to explain.

88 miles per hour

... little sentiments I've started to collect, and I fear that I'm going to build a shrine over something so completely effiacious-- time travel and cold fusion seem more tangible than him.

i guess that's as real as it will get. Of all the things that remain somewhat uncertain in my life, finding the right opposite sex remains as one of the primaries. because of my current (rather pathetic) way of living, it's inhibited me from finding myself and him. it's just a crush, and i'm just being lonely and stupid. he's just a boy and i'm just a girl and our hearts will remain a million miles apart, separated by circumstances, friends, family, and ultimately, ourselves.