I love you public bathroom

Strange days ahead:
1. Grandma is sick with pneumonia and acute renal failure.
2. Cousins visiting from Philadelphia and Philippines, who for some reason are always asking me to drive them places (and NOT pay for gas?! I do not drive a magic flying carpet.)
3. Have not purchased a single holiday gift.
4. No work for the next week.
5. Am mostly confused (see also: have no idea how to enjoy the upcoming holiday due to sudden influx of possible family loss, with a side of large family gathering.)

If only 2007 could be printed in the form of a gift receipt, I'd make sure that when I show up to the pearly gates, I would ask for a refund-- or at least an exchange? "I would like the things most treasured in my life to spontaneously combust as opposed to having them slowly deteriorate before my eyes please."

(And then I would realize that I am being helped at the customer service desk at WalMart, whose Catholic equivalence translates as Purgatory.)

Most random post ever.