Saturday, October 27, 2007

smug is the new 'fug

Is it wrong to want to "one-up" someone when they're being annoyingly smug? While waiting outside a restaurant last night, I decide to start up conversation with a seemingly cute asian girl (also waiting, but sitting on her vintage-appropriate hipster bicycle.)

Me: "So did you guys go to the after party kegger?"
Her: "Um, no. I've been swigging from this 40oz in my bag the entire ride, so me and my friend decided to peace-out early."

"Wow, nice! Biking back home from this point then?"

"Yeah. I'm an artist?* So, my friend and I are biking back to my artist studio tonight."

Now, a little thrown off kilter I awkwardly reply, "It would be better if you had an artist... yacht."

[insert weird silence-- thankfully her friend rolled up immediately after so I could stop avoiding eye-contact with her]

POINT OF STORY: I HATE it when people make smuggish-type statements in the form of questions. They always feel like, 'Duh, can't you just tell by looking at me?' answers; all of which should be responded with a punch to the face.

No shit? You're an ARTIST?! WITH A STUDIO TO MATCH?!! Yeah. I'm a still-live-at-home-with-my-mom-artist? So, tonight my friends and I are going back to our still-live-at-home-with-my-mom-artist-studios, also known as HOME.

Maybe I'm just a hater. I don't know.


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