picnics and tight pants
it means something when the skin imprint left by the seams of my pants is so deep, that it looks as if I'm wearing skin-pants.
tomorrow-- or today, I'm going to drive out to Castaic and discuss more websites and eat more food and come back home more dissastisfied with myself. lately I find myself becoming more of something I don't want to be this year: a lump of crap. I wake up relatively late, go to work, sit at a computer for 3-4 hours, drive home, sit at a computer again for 5-6 hours (depending on the project at hand/gawker posts), go out late, play racketball, and eat a huge inappropriately porportioned meal. go home, fall asleep reading or playing animal crossing (sometimes both) and repeat it all verbatim the following day.
Whenever I drive to work and the weather is just right (sunny with clouds, a cold breeze) I like to play 'Ceremony' really loud and roll both my windows down as I'm speeding along the cascading hill on the 57. All the noise and air whipping around me create this temporary bubble of complacency and calm; almost to a point where I forget how inherently depressed I am.
...
David and I have been together for two years. TWO YEARS! I've never been committed to someone for that long. We didn't celebrate the occasion with anything (though I secretly wanted to) but he did remind me of the actual date (I had forgotten.) He believes we got together on the 15th of March, the evening of which I first held his hand while he drove me home. I thought we got together on the 23rd-- when one of us gathered up enough gall to kiss (drunkenly) on the couch during Ellen's going away party.
(I remember the following day, Steven showed up at my work to drop off a $200 record player with a vague note asking if we could still be friends.)
The honeymoon romance is over. It ebbs up to the surface of our relationship every-now-and-then but for the most part, we are like a pair of senior citzens. We take long walks, we hold hands, we disagree but never quarrel, we take forever to eat a piece of cake, we are more like pillows and naptime than motors and progress.
tomorrow-- or today, I'm going to drive out to Castaic and discuss more websites and eat more food and come back home more dissastisfied with myself. lately I find myself becoming more of something I don't want to be this year: a lump of crap. I wake up relatively late, go to work, sit at a computer for 3-4 hours, drive home, sit at a computer again for 5-6 hours (depending on the project at hand/gawker posts), go out late, play racketball, and eat a huge inappropriately porportioned meal. go home, fall asleep reading or playing animal crossing (sometimes both) and repeat it all verbatim the following day.
Whenever I drive to work and the weather is just right (sunny with clouds, a cold breeze) I like to play 'Ceremony' really loud and roll both my windows down as I'm speeding along the cascading hill on the 57. All the noise and air whipping around me create this temporary bubble of complacency and calm; almost to a point where I forget how inherently depressed I am.
...
David and I have been together for two years. TWO YEARS! I've never been committed to someone for that long. We didn't celebrate the occasion with anything (though I secretly wanted to) but he did remind me of the actual date (I had forgotten.) He believes we got together on the 15th of March, the evening of which I first held his hand while he drove me home. I thought we got together on the 23rd-- when one of us gathered up enough gall to kiss (drunkenly) on the couch during Ellen's going away party.
(I remember the following day, Steven showed up at my work to drop off a $200 record player with a vague note asking if we could still be friends.)
The honeymoon romance is over. It ebbs up to the surface of our relationship every-now-and-then but for the most part, we are like a pair of senior citzens. We take long walks, we hold hands, we disagree but never quarrel, we take forever to eat a piece of cake, we are more like pillows and naptime than motors and progress.
this was said around 1:24 AM /
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