pot, a large cookie, and assholery
Yesterday I met a guy named Nick who also ended up being another 25 year old floating around CalArts with a slightly perturbed look on his face (i am not alone!) While hanging out in my studio he runs into another friend (named Monkey?) and we all end up smoking a LOT of pot.
Within minutes, like ants to picnic, the smell of weed attracts a handful of other students in the adjacent studios and before I fully realize it, there are about ten of us standing around discussing the subtleties of weed appellation and taste. Being around so many strangers, completely toasted off my ass, I felt really uncomfortable and kept wishing I was at home in bed, with a cat sleeping on my face. After somehow making my way to the cafeteria with Monkey, I end up ordering a quesadilla and fries (demolishing them in minutes) and wander my way over to a table of more familiar friends who invite me to go to the sauna with them (CalArts has a sauna?) I digress but still walk with them in the freezing cold to get some ice cream.
Everything else that follows is really just a series of pot-infused paranoia. David, bless him, is the worst liar known to mankind-- so his attempt to buy me a large valentine's day cookie as a surprise was totally misinterpreted by my stoned-ass as some sort of "OMG IS HE CHEATING ON ME?!" tirade. In a panic I call Danny, who calmly reminds me that I'm both high, retarded, and that Valentines Day is tomorrow,
"First of all, you're the Church of Becky to David."
"But what if he finds me falliable?! What if he gets all Martin Luther on me and posts a list of complaints on my church doors?!"
"If you think he's cheating and you try to call him out on it tonight, you're going to look like an pot-smoking asshole."
(David bought me a large heart-shaped cookie after deciding not to buy me a wireless apple keyboard & mouse, "It wouldn't have been very useful since you just use a laptop. I figured I'd just get the cookie because it reminded me of that story you told me of when you finished off a huge cookie your brother's girlfriend made for him on Valentines Day.")
MY ASSHOLE QUOTIENT OF THE YEAR = COMPLETE.
Within minutes, like ants to picnic, the smell of weed attracts a handful of other students in the adjacent studios and before I fully realize it, there are about ten of us standing around discussing the subtleties of weed appellation and taste. Being around so many strangers, completely toasted off my ass, I felt really uncomfortable and kept wishing I was at home in bed, with a cat sleeping on my face. After somehow making my way to the cafeteria with Monkey, I end up ordering a quesadilla and fries (demolishing them in minutes) and wander my way over to a table of more familiar friends who invite me to go to the sauna with them (CalArts has a sauna?) I digress but still walk with them in the freezing cold to get some ice cream.
Everything else that follows is really just a series of pot-infused paranoia. David, bless him, is the worst liar known to mankind-- so his attempt to buy me a large valentine's day cookie as a surprise was totally misinterpreted by my stoned-ass as some sort of "OMG IS HE CHEATING ON ME?!" tirade. In a panic I call Danny, who calmly reminds me that I'm both high, retarded, and that Valentines Day is tomorrow,
"First of all, you're the Church of Becky to David."
"But what if he finds me falliable?! What if he gets all Martin Luther on me and posts a list of complaints on my church doors?!"
"If you think he's cheating and you try to call him out on it tonight, you're going to look like an pot-smoking asshole."
(David bought me a large heart-shaped cookie after deciding not to buy me a wireless apple keyboard & mouse, "It wouldn't have been very useful since you just use a laptop. I figured I'd just get the cookie because it reminded me of that story you told me of when you finished off a huge cookie your brother's girlfriend made for him on Valentines Day.")
MY ASSHOLE QUOTIENT OF THE YEAR = COMPLETE.
this was said around 12:07 PM /
2 Comments:
hahahahah. ew sauna at cal arts i have to ask neil about that. that sounds like stds. mmm cookie. what kind was it? like sugar with frosting on it?
jajajajaja NOW i want to attend ur school if theres a SAUNA, DRAMA, and the Church of Becky!
oh yea... and how is the icecream?
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